it is hard to say to tell you how

I'm here, just like I said
Though it's breaking every rule I've ever made
My racing heart, is just the same;
Why make it strong to break it once again?
And I'd love to say "I do";
Give everything to you
But I could never now be true

So I say...
I think I better leave right now
Before I fall any deeper
I think I better leave right now
Feeling weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me how
Before I fall any deeper
I think I better leave right now

I'm here, so please explain
Why you're opening up a healing wound again
I'm a little more careful, perhaps it shows
But if I lose the highs at least I’m spared the lows
Now I tremble in your arms
What could be the harm?
To feel my spirit calm?

So I say...
I think I better leave right now
Before I fall any deeper
I think I better leave right now
Feeling weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me how
Before I fall any deeper
I think I better leave right now

I wouldn't know how to say
How good it feels seeing you today
I see you've got your smile back
Like you say - you're right on track
But you may never know why
Once bitten, twice as shy
If I'm proud, perhaps I should explain
I couldn't bear to loose you again

Yes, I will.
I think I better leave right now
Feeling weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me how
Before I fall any deeper...
I think I better leave right now

Di sebalik kalbu, yang semakin layu, terbenam suatu rasa rindu, terkunci satu suara hati yang tiada sesiapa pun tahu..namun, walau kehadiranku hanyalah sementara, bukanlah salahku sayang sekiranya kau jatuh cinta, pemergianku ini tidak kurelai,akan ku pergi jauh dan takkan kembali, salam maaf permisi dan akan ku undur diri, ....dimanakah kasih, tidak seperti dulu, bila kau kata kau sayangkan ku, benarkah semua itu....ku tinggalkan cinta, kisah yang berlalu, kisah kenangan kita dan hanya kau saja yang tahu....

It had been for about years, the story had finished…you have your own way and I had mine.... question by question popped in my mind which I wish that you can answer all of it but then I realize who am I to you…. there no more words, no more questions, no more enquiry, no more arguing coz times change everything and nature takes its call…. We have our priority and our responsibility…. we have aren’t enough time to talk about it and I guess that just the way the story should goes…

That moments teach me a lot of things, that moments hold a lot of memories and that moments will always be close in my heart….our decision is the best for us …If only I knew there always be tomorrow, I will spare a minute to make up for oversight and make sure everything just right, but tomorrow is not a promised to everyone and I take this chance so it won’t slip away coz if tomorrow never come, I’ll regret it the day…

suddenly, the wind blow and you can feel the smell of freshness and peaceful..... the clock turn the time back when everything seemed to be wonderful and marvellous... each moment flies so fast at that time and everything runs so smooth.... the environment, the timing, the place and even the date was so perfect.... but just let it be as a vivid memories of that once a upon a time.... someone, somewhere and some place where some moments were treasure.... lots of things that can't be said it out loud but as long as we know it and for we to keep it........

cinta bukan bagaimana untuk menjadi pasangan yang sempurna tetapi bagaimana menemukan seseorang yang dapat membantumu menjadi dirimu sendiri dan kerana kehadirannya itu buat dirimu sempurna

love is visible when someone is there for you, when you need them. Its being treated right when you make a mistake or need mercy or understanding

monday again..... as usual as some people said, monday blues but i guess today a little bit different for me .. i am quite eager to be in monday.... well, i guess for what had i've been through ... i just anxiously want to be in my working place..... it seemed quite awkward today...everything seem uncertain and question mark?....ermmmmm, what actually happened? that puzzled me.... and i just dun't feel right about it...........why? why should i feel that way.... i am just too imaginative which i think it is too much..... it would not be rite to think of it...will not be... i hope everything recover soon.... i guess so coz the temptation to reveal everything just at my finger tips but i shall keep it solely to myself.... we will see tomorrow and i hope everything goes well..........

just a few minutes ago, i listen to this music.....well, before i advertise the whole lyrics of one of my fav songs...i shall share this statement....'life without music is a silent'....i can't imagine if we dun't have the radio and the world would be dull without entertainment... i think music is the best way to deliver the messages and to express your thought.. some people imprinted their feeling in music and some plays with their emotion in it...for certain people, you may not know the best way to expel your feeling, therefore i think music is the alternative connector medium which may deliver out the messages... well, whatever it is, in my point of view, music do plays a pivotal role in my life... i always have fun to listen, to hear and even to sings it along....;-) and some of it are my fav songs which mean so much to me and some are an evergreen collection which i always admire...so, here goes one of it:-

Bagaimana
Harus kita meneruskan
Percintaan yang terluka
Masa dulu

Andainya kau sendirian
Dan kau masih lagi mencariku
Di sini aku menanti mu

Kenangi saat indah kau dan aku
Waktu itu hidup kita romantisnya
Kita pun berlari-lari mengejar ombak
Di pantai kasih
Akhirnya aku kau tinggalkan

Sejarah cintaku yang lalu oh...
Hanyalah ujian bagimu
Seandainya kau perlukan aku
Ku masih ada di sini
Seandainya aku tiada lagi
Simpanlah cintaku
Di dadamu oh... sayang

Cuba kau ingat kembali
Masa lalu
Kasihku teguh buatmu
Walaupun terluka namun ku bersabar
Dan masih menyayangi

Andainya kau ada yang lain
Waktu ini
Apalah dayaku lagi
Terpaksalah aku membawa diriku
Dan hanya Tuhan saja yang mengerti

Kalau aku mengelamun sendirian
Berderai airmata di pipiku
Kerana terlalu pilunya hatiku
Kau pergi dariku tanpa pesan
Di sudut hatiku yang terluka ini
Terpahat namamu Kaulah kekasih

at last, home sweet home...how much i miss you my bed, my room, my car and everything about my home...mom's cooking, mom's and dad's grumbling and biha's complaint.... though most of the time she is the victim to be scold..hahahaha....
well, nearly two weeks i had been away from home, there is a lot of things i 've learned, a lot of experiences and a lot of memories... from shopping to berendam dalam waterfall...from airplane to cars and even taxi van....from hotel to chalet.... and from colleague to making new friends... from far become near, from lecturer to chatting, from shy to be open.....well, whatever it is... it always be one of the best memory to be framed in my minds and heart....
so, tomorrow.... come back to work.... i really miss my patients, my staff and my solely working place.......not to say i am workaholic but slightly alcoholic.....hahahaha.....well, need a routine to be do it everyday...:-)

if one day that gal can't talk, then she had said her feeling when u r close to her,
if one day that gal can't hear, then she had listened to what you want to said to her,
if one day she is blind, then she had see you as closed as she can while you are with her,
if one day she out of time, she want you to know that she is very thankful for what you had gave her,
and if one day she walk away, she want you to know that it is the best for you and her....though deep inside she was afraid to lose you...

dalam setiap saat yang kau berikan, aku akan simpan di dalam hati ini,
dalam setiap detik nafas yang kau hembuskan, aku akan berada senafas denganmu,
dan dalam setiap pelukan itu, aku akan merasa degupan jantungmu,
kau datang dengan tiba-tiba, pertemuan yang telah mengubah segalanya,
kau bawa ku hanyut dalam bibit2 cinta,
setipa hari aku jadi keliru, aku takut kehilanganmu,
tapi kau datang memberi nafas baru,kau rayu dan membuat aku keliru dan buntu,
aku hilang arah pandu, hidup ini bagai tak berseri tanpa mendengar suaramu,
kau jadikan pengalamanmu sebagai umpan mendekatiku,
tapi kau lupa yang suatu ketika aku kan terluka
tidak pernah kah kau pikirkan yang aku akan hilang arah tujuan,
tapi kau tak peduli hingga membuat ku hanyut ke tengah lautan,
sampai ketika, kau biarkan aku lemas sendirian,
aku lemas ke dasar lautan..
aku lemah meniti hari kerana tiada lagi kau di sisi,
tiada lagi kata cintamu, tiada lagi dakapan cinta dulu,
tinggal aku sendiri, membawa diri keseorangan,
pabila malam tiba, hatiku menangis sepi,
hanya tinggal aku di sini,
bila angin bertiup, hatiku merayu pilu
hanya tinggal bayu yang lalu..
kini kau sudah tiada lagi,
aku hanya memori,
dan kau adalah fantasi yang pernah aku mimpi..
dan aku berjanji untuk tidak bermimpi lagi
kerana di akhir nanti pasti ku akan kecewa lagi..
bagaikan layu di tepi dasar lautan,
aku tabah meneruskan kehidupan,
tanpa sesiapa yang mengerti,
bahawa jiwa ini telah diguris lagi.....

:-)... it is a suprised for me.. i really dun't believe that the things come true... Thank you GOD... THANK YOU SO MUCH...I AM SO HAPPY.....our life is life a cycle of tyre, sometime we are on the bottom part but sometimes we are at the upper...as far as i concern, i believe that everything that was given, there is always the meaning behind it... THANK YOU SO MUCH...
alhamdulilah, bersyukur ku kepadanya.... hanya KEPADAMU aku memohon dan KEPADAMU aku meminta....AMIN

it has been a while after that time....nuthing much change and it always be the memorable moments although just a few hours.....memories freshen up and that what make it always be close to my heart.... but as what had agreed, the pathway and the choice of road are different...though temptation and feeling are shouted like crazy inside, there always be the limitation....at once it used to be close to me but now it is just my dream, at once it used to be speechless but now it is just to hear and to see, at once it used to be everything but now it just lonely.....
.....it is not a 365 spending days, it is not 6 or 5 month living together, it is not even 3 or 4 weeks to enjoy the days but it is remembrance and precious moments that always be.....;-)

aduh....abis teruk argentina kena belasah.....kick the ball to the goal....Messi need to win this, to be in the closing ceremony....pity Tevez, he had run ke hulu hilir padang ...but luck not on their side...ermm...they have to close their book for this world cup final this year....

at time when you just feel like you want to run away..... to go away from everything...to be free and have your own space but then something stopped you rite away.. your journey cannot be continue.... and when the time arrived, u just feel that you want to be close to the peak of the mountain then your grab become loose which make you rolling down again, its hurt so much coz you keep on falling....but you need to be strong..
at time when you feel like you want to talk to someone... to tell the story of your life.... to express everything that you want to tell but then you already being forgotten... you already not important anymore.... and when the time come, u just feel lonely then your mind start to rewind back the good old memories and you start to think back for what had happened... but still you need to be strong..
at time when you just feel that you do not have the courage to go on, then your eyes start to close, your ear start to become silent, your nose are breathless and your soul are away from your body.....then is when you are weak and hopeless..... but still GOD IS ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU....